Kareoke will never be a sober sport
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize