I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i drank out of a bidet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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