did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Its guy fieris flavor town of sufferingâ„¢
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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