I love black thongs
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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