dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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