Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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