my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize