Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize