When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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