I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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