I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I think my moral compass just broke
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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