Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
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