it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize