Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize