I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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