Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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