i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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