i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize