No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
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I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
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