My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize