I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize