Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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