Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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