i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
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Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
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I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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