Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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