when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize