he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize