I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize