My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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