Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize