i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
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i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
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I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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