why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize