I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
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