and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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