Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
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