Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
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When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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