she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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