Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
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Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
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I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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