I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize