Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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