remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize