Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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