I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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