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Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
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