He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Also, beer. Big fan.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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