the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver just had a heart attack.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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