Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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