I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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