just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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