So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
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I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
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At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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